Tinfoil Hat Alert!

While lurking at the democratic underground yesterday, something I really should not do as it is usually cause for a dramatic rise in my blood pressure, I came across a gem of a thread! This particular thread was relating how current events in the U.S. are very similar to Hitler's Germany and Mussolini's Italy, basically equating Bush's administration to the Third Reich. They were conflicted though. They could not decide whether to invoke Hitler's name when trying to "convert" people to their way of thinking because of the negative connotations his name carries. You think? All you need to know about these people comes from this revealing little blurb:

"But, wouldn't it then be incumbent on the person playing the "Hitler card" to point out what it was that Hitler did? By avoiding it, don't we run the risk of repeating history? Shouldn't people be educated beyond visceral knowledge that Hitler killed 6 million Jews? What I mean by that is, focus on the real evil there. And this could just be my sole opinion shared by no one: fine. For me, what made the Holocaust so evil was not the killing of 6 million per se (though that was on its own ghastly) but the fact that the killing was done with the full sanction of a modern political/legal system. They successfully reduced it to a cold, antiseptic process, a governmental project (The Final Solution). That scares the HELL out of me. So bringing this back to topic, a good faith, valid comparison of what took place during the Third Reich and what is taking place here in corporate America. I think it's more than just preaching to the converted. If you lay out what took place and compare it to post-9/11 (you don't even have to bring up concentration camps) America, then the onus is on the person receiving the argument. And if they just walk away at the mere mention of Nazi Germany, then they're in denial from the get-go, and I highly doubt that you can reach them even if you don't play the "Hitler card." It's like the Dems trying to reach the Undecideds in the last election. By 2004, after what these rogues have done to us and other countries, if you still couldn't figure out whether or not you were going to vote for Bush, then I say move on to the next person.
I dunno..."

- D.U. Loon

Ok, so let's review. Hitler's Germany was not evil because they killed 6 million Jews, they were evil because they did it efficiently. Crazy.

Nut Job Extraordinaire!

CINDY UNLEASHED: 'THE BIGGEST TERRORIST IN THE WORLD IS GEORGE W. BUSH'
Wed Aug 17 2005 21:51:56 ET

"We are not waging a war on terror in this country. We’re waging a war of terror. The biggest terrorist in the world is George W. Bush!" So declared Cindy Sheehan earlier this year during a rally at San Francisco State University. Sheehan, who is demanding a second meeting with Bush, stated: "We are waging a nuclear war in Iraq right now. That country is contaminated. It will be contaminated for practically eternity now." Sheehan unleashed a foul-mouth tirade on April 27, 2005: "They’re a bunch of fucking hypocrites! And we need to, we just need to rise up..." Sheehan said of the Bush administration. "If George Bush believes his rhetoric and his bullshit, that this is a war for freedom and democracy, that he is spreading freedom and democracy, does he think every person he kills makes Iraq more free?" "The whole world is damaged. Our humanity is damaged. If he thinks that it’s so important for Iraq to have a U.S.-imposed sense of freedom and democracy, then he needs to sign up his two little party-animal girls. They need to go to this war." "We want our country back and, if we have to impeach everybody from George Bush down to the person who picks up dog shit in Washington, we will impeach all those people." END

New Protected Class - Bunnysexuals

Why is this man being prosecuted for having "relations" with the rabbit? Shouldn't he be in a protected class? I mean, he didn't choose to have relations with the rabbit, that's the way he was born! He deserves special rights, considerations, and protections!!!








NZ bachelor on rabbit sex charge
Sydney Morning Herald ^
13 August 2005 By LES KENNEDY
Posted on 08/14/2005 7:21:00 AM PDT by Vasilli22

SYDNEY: A man faced an Australian court yesterday charged with having sexual relations with a rabbit and the sadistic killing of 17 other rabbits whose carcasses were found dumped in a lane.
Brendan Francis McMahon, 36, North Sydney, appeared briefly before Central Local Court Magistrate Allan Moore yesterday charged with having allegedly committed the offences over the past three weeks.
McMahon, a New Zealand born finance company director, sat quietly in the dock during the hearing at which he was represented by barrister Doug Marr.
No plea was entered to a total of 21 charges laid by polcie against McMahon, a business partner with Jason Meares, the former brother-in-law of James Packer.
McMahon, who's company website claims he is a former Bachelor of the Year winner, was arrested by detectives at a house in Tamarama early yesterday.
The investigation began after skinned and partially-skinned dead and dying rabbits began to appear in a laneway off York Street, near Circular Quay in late July.
The laneway adjoined a building in which McMahon occupied a first floor office from which he ran a financial planning and mortgage brokerage company.
Before McMahon was charged police alleged some of the rabbits had been thrown from some height into the laneway.
In addition to 17 rabbits, police also found a dead guinea pig in the lane.
Alarmed at the continuing discovery of freshly killed rabbits, some whose genitalia had allegedly been mutilated, detectives began contacting city pet stores to determine who had been buying rabbits.
Police found that a credit card in McMahon's name had been used to purchase the animals at a number of pet shops. Police also seized a security video showing a man buying a pet.
In all McMahon was charged with 17 counts of acts of aggravated cruelty upon an animal between July 20 and August 11.
AdvertisementAdvertisementHe was further charged with committing an act of bestiality with an animal between 3am and 4am on August 1.
McMahon was further charged with two counts of possession of cannabis.
His barrister, Mr Marr, told Mr Moore that McMahon would not be applying for bail today but would make a formal application next Friday, August 19.
Mr Moore formally refused McMahon bail and ordered him to reappear before the court via a prison video link next week.

Take Off, Hoser!

I blame it on the hockey lockout. Without that avenue of escape, those hosers have a ton of pent-up aggression. Good news though, with the resumption of hockey this fall, the Molson's will flow, the incidents of armed aggression will fall, and our mealy-mouthed neighbors to the north can return to their socialist, pacifist ways.




http://www.torontofreepress.com/2005/weinreb081205.htm

Ontario Premier to U.S. Ambassador: It's your fault
By Arthur Weinreb, Associate Editor, Friday, August 12, 2005

In recent weeks, gun violence in Toronto has become so prevalent that even the lefties who think that all of society’s problems can be solved with group hugs, can’t avoid the issue. When a recent spate of gun violence happened, that included the shooting of a 4-year-old boy outside of his home, Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty swung into action. The premier, who has been lately speaking about "American guns on Canadian streets" said that he would discuss the matter of guns with the new American ambassador, David Wilkins.
The two men met and held a private meeting yesterday in Banff, Alberta and McGuinty did raise the issue of American guns in Canada with Wilkins.
To those people who think that Canadians should take responsibility for Canadian crimes being committed on Canadian streets by Canadians, Dalton McGuinty picked a bad time to keep a promise. McGuinty had taken a page from the playbook of Toronto mayor David Miller who was the first politician whose jurisdiction includes Toronto to blame the Americans for the increase in shootings and murders caused by the use of handguns. Miller, however can be somewhat excused for blaming the United States. Since he became the city’s mayor in November 2003, he has refused to take responsibility for anything that has gone wrong in the city. Nothing was ever his fault. It was the fault of the federal government, the provincial government or the lefties’ favourite whipping boy, the previous Conservative provincial government. Nothing particular should be read in to Miller’s blaming the United States for the current violence in Canada’s largest city.
Even though Dalton McGuinty is headed into the Guinness Book of Records for the most broken promises made by a politician, Ontarians still expected more from their premier than a weak attempt to pin the blame for Toronto’s current gun violence on Americans and their guns. Unlike many of his Liberal Party brothers and sisters, Dalton McGuinty is not a hardcore America-basher. The fact that he held a private meeting on the subject right after a NAFTA ruling that found in Canada’s favour but may not be complied with by the United States does nothing to enhance the premier’s credibility with our neighbours to the south. Blaming the United States because Canadians are shooting other Canadians was a complete and utter waste of the American’s ambassador’s time, time that could have been better spent discussing serious issues like trade.
David Wilkins, diplomat that he is, said after the meeting that keeping American guns out of Canada is a "shared responsibility". The ambassador added that according to his information is that most American guns that make their way to Canada are brought into the country by Canadians. Hmm. It is doubtful that either McGuinty or Miller ever even thought of who is actually bringing these guns into the country.
After the private meeting was held, McGuinty made the absolutely inane comment that the U.S. Congress is not likely to ban handguns any time soon. Well, so much for Canada trying to pawn off our problems on another country. It’s just as well that the U.S. is not going to ban guns. If Congress brought in Canadian-style gun control, could Canadian-style health care be far behind? And if that happened the two countries would be virtually identical. Canadian culture, which primarily consists of the fact that we are not the United States will disappear. We might as well just invite al-Qaeda over and bomb us into oblivion.
In the end, it really doesn’t matter whether guns are brought into this country by Canadians or Americans or Martians. Canadians and their politicians have to take responsibility for what is happening on our streets.
McGuinty would be much further ahead if he concentrated his efforts on fighting crime and securing our border instead of putting on a show for the anti-American crowd.

Stepping Away From My Normal Conservative Rant

As I read the article below, I couldn't help but smile. It got me thinking. Why is everyone intrigued by the intricate bank heist or art theft? I find myself actually pulling for the thieves in majority of these cases. I guess it has to do with the absence of violence during the crime and the planning and initiative it took to pull it off. Tell me you can sit through a movie like Ocean's 11, The Thomas Crown Affair, or any other movie dealing with elaborate robberies and not find yourself pulling for the thieves. Absence the consequences of getting caught or, God forbid, someone getting hurt or killed, I think most people would love to try to plan and execute their own heist. (Absence the consequences? Gee, sounds like the doctrine of the baby-booming left.) Sorry, had to get one conservative jab in today. Enjoy.

Thieves Tunneled for Three Months to Pull off Brazil's Biggest Bank Robbery
By Stan Lehman
Associated Press Writer
Published: Aug 9, 2005

SAO PAULO, Brazil (AP) - Thieves spent three months tunneling under a busy city avenue in northeastern Brazil to break into a Central Bank vault and pull off one of the world's biggest heists ever.
The robbery netted 156 million reals (US$67.8 million, euro55 million) from a vault at the Central Bank in the city of Fortaleza, 2,500 kilometers (1,550 miles) northeast of Sao Paulo, said federal police spokeswoman Sabrina Albuquerque by telephone.
The money was discovered missing when it was reopened Monday after it was closed for the weekend Friday evening.
The amount taken surpassed the US$65 million stolen in 1987 from the Knightbridge Safe Deposit Center in London, previously recognized by experts as the planet's biggest robbery. The Brazil heist, however, was dwarfed by the theft of US$900 million plus as much euro100 million from the Iraq Central Bank in 2003.
No one has been arrested in the Central Bank robbery, but at least eight suspects have been identified, Albuquerque said.
The heist was similar to one pulled off last year in Sao Paulo in which thieves tunneled into a Sao Paulo company that transports money for banks, making off with 4.7 million reals ($1.6 million, euro 1.4 million).
In Fortaleza, the thieves took three months to build an 80-meter-long (262-foot-long), 70-centimeter-high (28-inch-high) tunnel from a house they had rented near the bank, Albuquerque said. The tunnel was 4 meters (13 feet) below the floor of the vault and electric lighting, wooden panels and plastic sheets lining the walls.
The thieves had renovated the house and put up a sign indicating it was a landscaping company selling plants and natural and artificial grass, police said.
"I never saw them selling anything and in fact I never saw any plant or grass for sale in that house," said Richard Chamberlain, the owner of a bookstore next to the house rented by the thieves, speaking by telephone.
He said he never heard any noise "indicating that a tunnel was being dug," or noticed anything suspicious.
"The tunnel was dug underneath one of the city's busiest and noisiest avenues, so it would be hard to notice anything unusual," he said.
Inside the rented house, police found a bolt cutter, drill, electric saw and a blowtorch, which were apparently used to cut through the vault's 1.1-meter-thick (3.6-foot-thick) steel-reinforced concrete floor.
The thieves broke into five containers filled with 50-real (US$22; euro18) used notes collected from local retail banks for inspection by central bank auditors. Notes in good condition were due to be returned to the banking system, while worn notes were destined to be burned.
For James Wygand, a Sao Paulo-based security consultant the robbery "was organized and executed by professionals who knew exactly what they were doing ... this was not the kind of operation put together by a couple of friends over a few beers."
"It will be very difficult for police to trace the stolen bills because they were old and not in neatly sequenced piles," he said. "No one jotted the serial numbers."
Estado de Sao Paulo newspaper reported that police believe the robbery may have been masterminded by the same man suspected in last year's robbery of the money transport company in Sao Paulo. Moises Teixeira da Silva, a convicted bank robber, escaped from prison in Sao Paulo in 2001 along with more than 100 other inmates by building a tunnel out.
Meanwhile the Central Bank has begun its own investigation.
"We are looking into several aspects of the crime including why the cameras and motion detectors inside the vault did not function and if the thieves had any inside help," said Central Bank spokeswoman Beatriz Dornelles.
The biggest previous bank heist in Brazil took place in 1999 when thieves got away with 37 million reals (worth about US$16 million at today's exchange rate) from a Sao Paulo bank.
AP-ES-08-09-05 2136EDT

Definition of a Liberal

A father helps his liberal college daughter with conservatism.Christian Underground ^
08 10 05 Anonymous
Posted on 08/10/2005 4:32:53 AM PDT by Rhadaghast

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, but her father was a staunch Republican. One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to high taxes and welfare programs. He stopped her and asked how she was doing in school. She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA, but it was really tough. She had to study all the time and never had time to go out and party. She didn't have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying. On top of that, the part-time job her father insisted she keep left absolutely no time for anything else. He asked, "How is your friend Mary?" She replied that Mary was barely getting by. She had a 2.0 GPA, never studied, but was very popular on campus, didn't have a job, and went to all the parties. She was always complaining about not having any money, but didn't want to work. Why, she often didn't show up for classes because she was hung over. Dad then asked his daughter why she didn't go to the Dean's office and request that 1.0 be taken off her 4.0 and given it to her friend who only had a 2.0. That way they would both have a respectable 3.0 GPA. Then, she could also give her friend half the money she'd earned from her job so that her friend would no longer be broke. The daughter angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair. I worked really hard for my grades and money, and Mary just loafs. Why should her laziness and irresponsibility be rewarded with half of what I've worked for?" The father slowly smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Guilty Until Proven Innocent.

I realize that in a court of law one has to assume that a defendant is innocent until proven guilty. On the street, where police officers put their lives on the line every day, I believe that the police should always assume that someone is guilty until proven innocent. Does that give the police license to beat or pepper spray every person they question? Certainly not! But when the suspect has a warrant out for his or her arrest and physically resists arrest, they had better expect a response.

The article below details one such arrest that occurred in the D/FW area where all of the suspect's family and friends are crying police brutality. I particularly like this comment from the suspect's sister: "This is completely unfair. A perfectly innocent man, practically dead just because of a ticket. This was not necessary." Do you think the suspect would be in the situation that he is if he had peacefully complied with the officers request? Of course not! While I feel sorry for the suspect and his family, I certainly don't blame the police for his predicament.

Do you think Rodney King would have been beaten if he had not led the police on a 100+ mph pcp induced car chase and refused to surrender once he was stopped? A point brushed over by the MSM since they only would show the most incendiary parts of the video, not the parts of the video that shows King acting like a wild-man on a PCP bender. By the way, has anyone checked on the progress of Mr. King since he received that hefty settlement? His rap sheet has grown to monumental proportions. Quality individual! Let's make him a national spokesperson for injustice. I wonder if Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton ever received their cut for assisting in the shakedown? Remember, "If it don't make dollars, it don't make sense."


Officers on leave over man's spraying
Police launch inquiry into arrest that led to hospitalization
07:58 AM CDT on Tuesday, August 9, 2005
By TIARA M. ELLIS / The Dallas Morning News

Two Allen police officers were placed on administrative leave Monday and an investigation was launched, four days after a man they attempted to arrest had to be hospitalized.
Edgar A. Vera remained in critical condition in a brain-dead state on Monday, family members said. Mr. Vera's family said that the department's decision to suspend the officers comes after pressure and media attention over the weekend.
Dozens of people protested Sunday afternoon outside the Allen Police Department, calling for justice.
"Those officers should have been taken off the streets the day after," Luis Pacchioni said Monday from the waiting room at Medical Center of McKinney, where his cousin is being treated. "Those officers needed to be off the force. They should face criminal charges."
Allen police officials are conducting separate investigations through internal affairs and the criminal investigation unit. In the meantime, the two officers, whom Allen police refused to identify because of the pending investigation, remain on administrative leave with pay, said Allen police spokesman Capt. Robert Flores.
Mr. Vera, 45, of Arlington went to an Allen neighborhood Thursday night to pick up a relative who was not home. He waited in his car.
The two officers arrived in the 1500 block of Mahogany Drive in response to a call about a suspicious person. They discovered that Mr. Vera had an outstanding warrant from Irving, Capt. Flores said.
Police said Mr. Vera, an immigrant from Peru, resisted arrest and struggled against officers. After an "extended period of time," Capt. Flores said the officers used pepper spray on Mr. Vera in accordance to the department's use-of-force policy. The spray had little effect, and the struggle continued, he said. And then Mr. Vera stopped breathing.
Officers performed CPR and got a heartbeat. Then Mr. Vera was transported to the hospital. Medical Center of McKinney hospital spokeswoman Sandy Fulce said Mr. Vera was in critical condition on Monday but would not elaborate.
"It's hard to understand," Mr. Pacchioni said. "How do you put someone in this condition for a minor violation? ... This is something that happened two years ago, a ticket he forgot to pay. Now he's lying there brain-dead."
Capt. Flores said he sympathizes with the family.
"We never want anyone in the hospital," Capt. Flores said. "I really feel sorry for the family. I know it's difficult for them. I feel bad for them."
But Carla Vera, Mr. Vera's sister, said she doesn't trust the Allen Police Department.
"We think they drenched him in pepper spray because up until Saturday, when we touched his skin, it felt hot. ... That speaks of a whole lot of pepper spray that was applied on him," said Ms. Vera, 44.
That combined with the fact that the hospital threw away Mr. Vera's clothes make Ms. Vera wonder whether there is evidence of excessive force.
"This is completely unfair. A perfectly innocent man, practically dead just because of a ticket," she said. "This was not necessary."

Al Día staff writer Anabel Marquez contributed to this report.
E-mail tellis@dallasnews.com
ALLEN POLICY
Police departments generally have a policy detailing the escalation of the use of force. The Allen Police Department use-of-force continuum follows:
1. Verbal command: Police identify themselves and order the subject to stop; sometimes this is followed by an order for the suspect to put his hands behind his back or head.
2. Controlled restraint: Using an empty hand, the officer grabs the subject's arm, shoulder or other body part in an effort to handcuff hands.
3. Chemical agents: An officer uses pepper spray, for example.
4. Striking techniques: An officer physically hits the subject, usually aiming for large muscles in arms and legs in an effort to get control.
5. Impact weapon: Striking a subject with a baton.
6. Deadly force: Discharging a firearm a last resort after all other efforts have failed.

Jihadist Jennings

As we are being inundated with all of the peter jennings brouhaha over the next week, lets remember the REAL peter jennings: a leftist, elitist, Cananadian, high-school dropout who hated America and loved everything anti-American.








August 08, 2005
Jihadi Journalist: The Real Peter Jennings
By Debbie Schlussel

While the rest of the world is blindly singing the praises of Peter Jennings, here's a reality check: Peter Jennings did more for the cause of Islamic terrorism than any media figure today. And that's nothing to celebrate, honor, or even memorialize.
Before there was Al Jazeerah, there was Peter Jennings.
From the beginning of Jennings career until his death, Jennings' biased coverage went beyond the pale, bending over backward in "understanding" the terrorists who hate us-- from seeing "their side" when he covered the seige and then murder of innocent Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics to honoring an Al-Qaeda operative with a prized "commentator" spot during Jennings coverage of the 9/11 attacks.
Throughout Jennings' coverage of the attacks, he frequently featured a man named Tariq Hamdi (whose commentary urged understanding for the radical Muslim world), identifying Hamdi only as "journalist" on the chyron.
But, in fact, Jennings' friend Hamdi was no journalist at all. As I've written, Hamdi was an alleged Bin Laden Associate and employed by Islamic Jihad's U.S. frontman, Sami Al-Arian.
According to prosecutors and documents in the 1998 trial of the Bin-Laden bombings of U.S. Embassies in Africa (the 7th anniversary of which was yesterday), Hamdi provided Bin Laden a battery instrumental in those bombings. He's also an unindicted co-conspirator with Islamic Jihad frontman Sami Al-Arian, who employed him at his Islamic "charity" fronts at the University of South Florida. Hamdi was also an employee of a Saudi-funded charity raided by Customs agents for allegedly laundering billions to Qaeda through the Isle of Man.
This is the type of "journalist" and "commentator" Jennings frequently employed in his so-called newscast of which he was an all-controlling editor.
I always say, pillow talk is the most effective form of political speech. And it apparently had its effect on Jennings early on. When developing and heading up ABC's Beirut headquarters, Jennings dated (euphemism) Palestinian "beauty" Hanan Ashrawi. And it colored his vitriolic, anti-American, anti-Israel coverage ever since.
Then there were the sneers, the sneers of a Canadian high school drop-out for anything conservative, anything mainstream, anything pro-Western, pro-Israel, etc. Jennings' sneers and snide comments were always evident for those who did not meet his very left-of-center point of view. A great example was his sneering during the 2000 vote recount, and after, when Bush was declared President. Another was his sneering just after the 9/11 attacks when Bush delivered his speech to a joint session of Congress. Jennings' elitist sneers will NOT be missed.
While I never wish death upon anyone, it's only sad that Jennings despicable brand of advocacy journalism--parading as "news"--wasn't laid to rest along with him.
Unfortunately, that will not happen. Sadly, the female, more personable, non-toupeed version of Jennings--Elizabeth Vargas--is set to step into Jenning's shoes. She got off to a great Jennings-esque start in her first hosting duties at ABC's "20/20," last fall. She delivered a very sympathetic profile and interview of HAMAS operative and fundraiser Cat Stevens. Expect more of this to come.
It's sad when anyone dies of cancer. I won't dance on Jennings' grave, the way he danced on the graves of young, innocent athletes slaughtered at the Munich Olympics--the way he blasphemied their murders with his shallow, understand-the-Islamic-terrorists coverage. Unlike the murdered Munich athletes he dishonored, Jennings died in peace and without pain. He got to say good-bye to his loved ones. They did not.
But I will remember Peter Jennings for the less than honorable person he was--not the emperor with no clothing that is now being memorialized.
Jennings used to end his newscasts with, "And that's a look at our world." No, it wasn't a look at our world at all. It was Peter Jennings' slanted world, and every day he acted as if he was doing us a favor giving us his warped look at it.
No, Peter Jennings, that wasn't our world at all. Jennings' legacy is helping advance the cause of Islamic terrorists on broadcast television, parading it as news. He wrote his own epitaph with it. Unfortunately, it came with a lot more tombstones and epitaphs then just Jennings'--and most of those buried beneath are a whole lot more innocent.
They are the victims of Islamic terrorism--the brand Peter Jennings helped build into a network news product. That cancer,unfortunately, is still here. And it has metasticized.

http://www.debbieschlussel.com/

For more on peter jennings and his reporting bias, please go to:

www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=6093

Lest We Forget

With all of the Iraq anti-war propaganda that is being spouted by the baby-booming, communist-loving, Vietnam-protesting liberals and their allies in the MSM, I thought it would be appropriate to show how we have been down this road before. Of course liberals choose to ignore facts when presenting their arguments and ignore the millions of deaths that occurred in Southeast Asia after we pulled out of Vietnam and the region. The following is a link to an excellent article from Frontpagemag.com. It is an account of the events and the actions of the participants, many of whom are still very active in politics today, that led to one of the worst human catastrophes in history.

http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=19042

Long article but certainly worth the time to read. I was amazed at how many of the leftist arguments of the time sound strangely familiar to the arguments we are hearing today. All you have to do is substitute communism with Islamic fundamentalism.

Harro! I so ronery!

Dumbocrats Deferred Success

The slow demise of the dumbocrats is an interesting and, often times, hilarious thing to observe. The most amusing thing about their descent into political obscurity is that they JUST DON'T GET IT. The further left they drift, the more deferred success they have in elections. The following is an outstanding article, from the Chicago Sun Times no less, regarding this new chapter in their downward spiral!



Democrats' new strategy: Almost winning
August 7, 2005
BY MARK STEYN SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST
The other day an official with a British teachers' union proposed that the concept of "failing" exams should be abolished. Instead of being given a "failing" grade, she said, the pupil would instead be given a "deferred success."
Oh, sure, you can scoff. But evidently the system's already being test-piloted in Howard Dean's Democratic Party. That's why the Dems' Congressional Campaign Committee hailed their electoral failure in last week's Ohio special election as a triumphant "deferred success." As their press release put it:
"In nearly the biggest political upset in recent history, Democrat Paul Hackett came within just a few thousand votes of defeating Republican Jean Schmidt in Ohio's Second Congressional District."
Yes, indeed. It was "nearly the biggest political upset in recent history," which is another way of saying it was actually the smallest political non-upset in recent history. Hackett was like a fast-forward rerun of the Kerry campaign. He was a veteran of the Iraq war, but he was anti-war, but he made solemn dignified patriotic commercials featuring respectful footage of President Bush and artfully neglecting to mention the candidate was a Democrat, but in livelier campaign venues he dismissed Bush as a "sonofabitch" and a "chicken hawk" who was "un-American" for questioning his patriotism.
And as usual this nearly winning strategy lost yet again -- this time to a weak Republican candidate with a lot of problematic baggage. Insofar as I understand it, the official Democratic narrative is that Bush is a moron who's nevertheless managed to steal two elections. Big deal. Up against this crowd, that's looking like petty larceny. After the Ohio vote, Dem pollster Stan Greenberg declared that "one of the biggest doubts about Democrats is that they don't stand for anything." That might have passed muster two years ago. Alas, the party's real problem is that increasingly there's no doubt whatsoever about it.
Fortunately, the Dems have found a new line of attack to counter the evil election-stealing moron. A few days ago, the Democratic National Committee put out a press release attacking Bush for being physically fit. It seems his physical fitness comes at the expense of the nation's lardbutt youth. Or as the DNC put it:
"While President Bush has made physical fitness a personal priority, his cuts to education funding have forced schools to roll back physical education classes and his administration's efforts to undermine Title IX sports programs have threatened thousands of women's college sports programs."
Wow. I noticed my gal had put on a few pounds but I had no idea it was Bush's fault. That sonofabitch chicken hawk. Just for the record, "his cuts to education funding" are cuts only in the sense that Hackett's performance in the Ohio election was a tremendous victory: that's to say, Bush's "cuts to education funding" are in fact an increase of roughly 50 percent in federal education funding.
Some of us wish he had cut education funding. By any rational measure, a good third of public school expenditures are completely wasted. But instead it's skyrocketed. And the idea that Bush is heartlessly pursuing an elite leisure activity denied to millions of American schoolchildren takes a bit of swallowing given that his preferred fitness activity is running. "Running" requires two things: you and ground. Short of buying every schoolkid some John Kerry thousand-dollar electric-yellow buttock-hugging lycra singlet, it's hard to see what there is about "running" that requires increasing federal funding.
Perhaps America could have a Running Czar or a National Commission on Running that would report back on the need for a Cabinet-level Runner-General. Perhaps Title IX needs to be expanded to provide a federal sneaker subsidy: a woman's right to shoes.
But I don't think so. Sitting behind yet another Vermont granolamobile bearing the bumper sticker "Bush Scares Me," I found myself thinking that perhaps the easiest way to reduce childhood obesity in American families might just to be to shout out, "Look! There's big scary Bush! Run! Run for your lives! No, wait, there's John Bolton, too! Better cut through the park before he puts his hands on his hips in an aggressive manner!" Indeed, when yesterday's coming man John Edwards dusts off his "Two Americas" stump speech -- the one with the heartwarming Dickensian vignette about the shivering girl whose parents can't afford to buy her a winter coat ($9.99 brand new from Wal-Mart) -- he might want to add a section about how an easy way for shivering coatless girls to keep warm is to run around the block a couple of times.
Speaking of shivering coatless girls in Bush's America, spare a thought for the underprivileged urchins of the Bronx. The Gloria Wise Boys & Girls Club, a nonprofit social-services organization in New York, receives millions of dollars in government funds to give disadvantaged youth in poor neighborhoods a leg up the ladder of life. But mysteriously much of the money wound up being diverted to the coffers of Air America, the liberal talk-radio network whose ratings are yet another example of "deferred success." The needs of disadvantaged Al Franken and his pals apparently outweigh those of Bronx welfare recipients. Perhaps Janeane Garofalo is the coatless girl John Edwards was talking about all those months. Air America looks like the broadcast version of the U.N. Oil-for-Food program, whereby money earmarked to save starving moppets somehow winds up in the bank accounts of bloated self-described do-gooders with political connections.
The DNC's Bush-is-the-reason-your-kid-is-fat press release is a convenient precis of the party's problem: While he runs rings around them, the Dems lounge about getting flabbier by the week and telling themselves it's all his fault they can barely move except to complain about Bush's Supreme Court nominee's kid being overly cute. What's the betting for 2006? The Dems will have a few more "nearly the biggest political upsets," while the Republicans will have the actual political upsets -- a couple more Senate seats? Including Robert C. Byrd's venerable perch in West Virginia?
Republicans may see the increasingly arthritic, corpulent, wheezing, flatulent Democratic Party as a boon for them, but I don't. Two-party systems need two parties, not just for the health of the loser but for that of the winner, too. Intellectually, philosophically, legislatively, it's hard to maintain the discipline to keep yourself in shape when the other guy just lies around the house all day.

My New Favorite GIF!

"Family Guy" might quite possibly be the best adult oriented cartoon ever brought to the airwaves. I've always enjoyed the sexual tension between the Griffin family matriarch, Lois, and the lovable, often inebriated family dog, Brian. This GIF file perfectly illustrates what you knew was going on when the television lights were turned off. Of course Lois, one of the hottest cartoon moms ever created, certainly deserves the spanking that is being rendered.


A big thanks to the FOX network for bringing back this excellent combination of high-brow satire and bathroom humor!